101 Reasons (and Fun Facts) Monica Drake Should Hire Me…

Hi Monica and staff at The New York Times!

I believe in going above and beyond in all I do in life and I am bound and determined to get your attention in any way possible, aside from emailing or calling you, per your instructions. (I love following directions!)

I hope you’ll take a moment to review these 101 Reasons (and Fun Facts) Monica Drake Should Hire Me. Feel free to explore the links, too.

1. I was a recent 4.0 journalism student at both Pima College and The University of Arizona.
2. My oral hygiene is impeccable.
3. My social media is bananas.
4. Al B. Sure! is one of my best friends and says he will sing for you anytime.

5. I am responsible. I currently oversee two multi-million dollar radio stations in market #17.
6. I’ve been to 93 countries and wouldn’t it be neat to hit my 100th as an employee of The New York Times?!
7. I created, coordinated and pulled off the biggest radio contest in history, #Epic48Hours:

8. I believe in and practice The Golden Rule.
9. My syndicated radio show is heard on over 130 radio stations and reaches over 2 million listeners each week. I created the show when I was just 16.
10. I keep cool in stressful situations…like when I was being held by police in Burundi:

11. By the age of 17 I was the full-time evening personality at the local hip-hop radio station.
12. I understand that to survive, media must adapt.
14. I’m not superstitious, but I’m cautious.
15. I’m cool with Keith Sweat.

16. I know how to balance a budget and keep my expenses in line.
17. I have a zest for life and making the most of every single moment, no matter how large or small.
18. I’m a self-learner. I taught myself how to edit video and two years later produced and released a full-feature documentary.

19. That documentary won multiple awards at film festivals across the globe.
20. I don’t gossip.
21. At 18 I started my own limousine business called Lowrider Limos.

22. I learned Spanish when I was 19 after falling in love with a girl from Mexico. She ended up disappointing me but I am still great friends with my Spanish professor today. #win
23. I’ve never done a drug in my life.
24. All my vaccinations are up to date.

25. I’m down with OPP: I respect Other People’s Property. Hotel rooms, airplanes, rental cars–I treat them as if they are my own.
26. I’m an old soul with classic values. Respect, courtesy, class and manners are a few of my best qualities.
27. J-Lo kissed me.

28. I’m a positive person by nature. I always do my best to see the bright side of every situation, even the bad things.
29. I remember being poor and pinching pennies when I was younger. I knew if I made sacrifices and worked hard early on, it would pay off later.
30. I respect all cultures.
31. In March, my listeners helped me build a well in Africa that provided clean water to a village without.

32. Eu falo português.
33. I will make you proud.
34. I’m not afraid to wear pink.

35. I’m kind to animals. Except spiders.
36. I was once detained trying to leave the country of Nauru.
37. I’ve been working in the media, consistently and full-time, since the age of 16.
19. I am aware of my weaknesses, like numbers and counting.
38. I want to work so hard for you that three months from now you’ll get a call from Dean Baquet, saying, “Monica, where did you find this guy?! Great hire!”
39. I once met Kanye West and blew it with this ridiculous pose.

40. I know how to use a handful of design and editing software programs and can quickly learn as many others as I need to for this job.
41. I am an expert travel agent with expertise on booking very complicated and robust itineraries.
42. I own a jacket with a patch from every country I have visited.

43. I want to be a U.S. ambassador one day.
44. In 2017 I founded an organization to combat illegal telemarketers.
45. I once drank from Lil’ Jon’s “pimp cup.”

46. I try and check my ego every day.
47. When I was in middle school I used to write rap songs about the girls in my class that I thought were cute.
48. I love my mom. One time I brought her on stage in front of 10,000 people at my Slow Jams LIVE! concert.

49. I swear I want this job more than anything…and more than anybody. I haven’t been able to sleep these past eight nights. Nothing has ever felt more right in my life.
50. I may not use Millennial slang, but I do know it. And that’s just me being honest AF.
51. My grammar is lit and my punctuation on fleek.
52. John Legend likes me.

53. I’m always on time.
54. I give a f___.
55. I follow directions.
56. Did you catch me on ABC’s Shark Tank?

57. I understand that tomorrow is never promised and I try to make the most of every day.
58. I imagine you’re so tired of people quoting Lou Bega’s, “A little bit of Monica in my life,” though I cannot seem to get those words out of my head since last week.
59. I once escaped a headlock from Gary Coleman.

60. I’m single, financially secure, healthy and ready to go! I can be on the road for a year straight. My affairs are in order. 100% ready, just say the word.
61. I notice, appreciate and investigate some of the smaller things while traveling. I’m curious.
62. I love Monica and Drake. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
63. My mom really wants to see me get this job. I hate disappointing Mom.

64. I believe in the power of responding to every reader and listener, even if it’s acknowledging a complaint or insult. You can create fans for life by doing this.
65. I’m humble. I’m sitting down.
66. At 30 years old I quit my job and moved to Brazil, simply because that was my dream.

67. I am patient, yet persistent.
68. My first job in the music industry was a mobile DJ and I was terrible at it.
69. I didn’t lay a hand on Taylor Swift.

70. I take risks, as long as those risks don’t hurt others.
71. I was a Tribe Called Quest fan a decade before being a Tribe Called Quest fan was cool.
72. I drive this low rider.

73. My word is bond.
74. I try and learn from every mistake.
75. I gave Justin Bieber the inspiration for his pre-2010 haircut.

76. I saw the Dalai Lama in person when I was 16 years old. I was a busboy at hotel restaurant and he passed right by me. I had no idea who he was and what the big deal was.
77. I’m a great flyer. I understand “armrest” etiquette: always yield to the poor guy/gal in the middle seat. And keep your feet off the bulkhead, ya hillbilly!
78. Trina said that I was the baddest b____.

79. I would be a great ambassador and example for The New York Times.
80. I return emails, texts and messages from my co-workers promptly.
81. I have giant maps covering the entire wall of my dining room and office.

82. I enthusiastically use my turn signals.
83. I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong.
84. I love feedback and I take direction happily. I want to learn and grow everyday.
85. In 2007 I was the youngest program director in Los Angeles.

86. Whenever I travel abroad I always try and remember that my actions have the power to leave people I meet with either a positive or negative view of The United States.
87. I still keep in touch with my elementary school teachers.
88. I love the 90s. A little too much.

89. I love it when you call me Big Poppa.
90. I believe in honesty first. It’s such a strong foundation to any endeavor.
91. I especially respect those in the service industry who have to deal with entitled/rude customers. I’m never one of them.

92. In December 2016 I visited 14 countries on 3 continents in 20 days. 26 countries in total for 2016.
93. I am the most loyal person you will ever meet.
94. I love Dan Saltzstein’s work.
95. I believe if you are unhappy you have the power to change that. When I was 19 years old and frustrated with new management at my radio station, I bum-rushed the GM at the radio station across the street with a presentation to hire me and my staff. I convinced him to bring us aboard and let us flip the format of his radio station. We crushed my old station in just two ratings books, and, more importantly, I found happiness again.
96. I once freestyled live on the air with Biz Markie. He kicked my ass.

97. I wanted so badly to email and call you but have respected your wishes not to. When I am presented with a barrier, I don’t turn away. I find alternate solutions, like this blog.
98. I forgive others.
99. There’s nothing I love more than traveling and documenting what I see, hear, eat and feel.

100. I’ve spent my career with the understanding that it is always about the radio station, not me personally. The same will apply when I am working for you–the focus will be on The New York Times, not me.
101. I missed both my junior and senior proms because I was on the air those nights. My dedication to my work has been unparalleled since my first job.
102. It has suddenly become apparent that there are more than 101 reasons why you should hire me.
103. I have no criminal record whatsoever.
104. I am already enrolled in Global Entry.
105. I want to do great work for The New York Times and attract new readers, but most importantly, I want to make a difference in the world through my reporting.
106. I talk to students (from grade school to college) about the importance of hard work, passion and determination; focusing on goals and staying away from drugs and gangs.

107. I may not be the absolute best travel writer in the world, but I aspire to be. I can offer a fresh perspective that seasoned news and magazine writers may not possess.
108. I have an immense love for music–all genres–from reggae to bossa nova to electronica to zydeco. I especially get a thrill out of self-discovering new genres of music in foreign lands.
109. I’m your unicorn. I am even willing to have a horn surgically attached to my dome to prove it. I know a guy.

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Thanks Monica and staff!

I did submit my CV, memo and samples through the web portal, under Randy Williams. Do let me know if you need anything else. randy@ramblinrandy.com