Hey Monica, I don’t mean for this to get creepy…but…you’ve been on my mind pretty heavy lately.
Here are six ways you kind of remind me of my middle school crush…
1. I send Monica notes
The rules are no emails or calls, so I send little (actual) “notes” in the mail just to say hello. I may or may not have sent a giant unicorn as well.
2. I ask Monica’s friends if they think “she likes me?”
I think Dan Saltzstein is kind of over me.
3. I get jealous when I see other people “talking” to Monica.
Not gonna lie, I wanna run up on a fool.
4. I get excited when she notices me.
I do. I really do. Go ahead and like that Tweet, Monica!
5. I may or may not be stalking you.
*slowly backs away*
6. (BONUS) I imagine what life would be like for us “together.”
“Working” together, of course! It would just be so right, you’ll see!
Related:
HireMeMonica.com MAIN PAGE
I’m Too Sexy for My Map (video)
10 Photos from Tuvalu (Wait, Where?)
But What’s Your Agenda?
Monica Drake: The TV Commercials
I’ve Had Some Superb Bosses…Will You Be Next?
For Monica: A Special Message from Al B. Sure!
14 Things You Can Do Instead of Emailing Monica
101 Reasons (and Fun Facts) Monica Drake Should Hire Me
10 Reasons Proof Positive I am Your Unicorn
Monica Drake to The Principal’s Office: My Professors Would Like to Have a Word with You
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